While visiting with the organizations in Central America serving to protect women and children from abuse, and empowering the women to become survivors, I am asked a common question. The question is, “How do we change a culture if we are not including men?” I completely agree, men should be included in the educational process. I want to share how a colleague of mine begins each men’s Batters (abusers) and Victims (survivors) small groups.
Purpose of the Batterers’ Intervention Program
I understand that the purpose of the Batterers’ Intervention Program is:
- To end my use of all forms of physical and verbal and emotional abuse and violence as a way of expressing myself.
- To end my need to exert power and control over others and learn power with others.
- To learn non-violent, non-angry ways of expressing disagreement
- To become better able to express how I feel openly and honestly and respectfully
- To learn to listen and communicate more effectively
- To accept responsibility for my emotions as well as for my behavior TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF MYSELF AND OTHERS
I understand that the Batterers’ Intervention Program is based on the fact that whether I am rich or poor, employed or unemployed, loved or unloved, respected or disrespected, sober or drunk, relaxed or stressed out, I am one hundred percent responsible for my emotions and my behavior and NOTHING others do or say either causes or excuses my abuse or violence to them.
GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE PEOPLE I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE TEH ONE I CAN, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW IT IS ME.
David E. Swindall, M.Div. LMFT
These powerful words spoken at the beginning of class, brings the focus of the group to the true reason they are there. Thank you David for this powerful tool.